Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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