oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Pooping to opera.
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