bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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