He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
