dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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