there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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