I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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