I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
When are your genitals available?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
