oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
