Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
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How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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