At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
