tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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