I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
