Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
