see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm too high and old for this...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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