some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.