I'm an idiot
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?