Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.

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(716): View more from New York

So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.

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(302): View more from Delaware

My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall

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25 People Confess The Sex Acts They Were Super Ashamed Of
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.

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(765): View more from Indiana

i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

you mean still drunk

(203): View more from Connecticut

I've heard it both ways

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