Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay

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(815): View more from Illinois

Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night

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(480): View more from Arizona

He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.

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(970): View more from Colorado

If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky

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(573): View more from Missouri

These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'

(406): View more from Montana

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU

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(561): View more from Florida

But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on

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