I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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