weddingsv make me drug and hornr
lets start a swedish sibling band together
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well