My first STD was from a foam party
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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