I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
