There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
