If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
