would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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