I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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