Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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