I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize