Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
