she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
