No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just want to make out with him forever
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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