Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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