May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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