Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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