capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
