is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
