It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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