in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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