I hate your face
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
