Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize