Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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