She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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