I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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