waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
