If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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