this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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