I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
