My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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