Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
