Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
