he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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