it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
