12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
