sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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