I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
And then my night got REAL pukey
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
