meet me or not, i'm out of control
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
