Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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