got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
