But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
