i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
