Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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