If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
