fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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