I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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