i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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