the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
