i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
