My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Randomize
