Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
